ALongVacation is taking a short vacation this week. But it’s just a break!
The Grammy Binks Rants.
Bertie finally posted my bail, so’s I’ma back on track now. Thanks a lot Ms. Sally, fer airin’ my dirty laundry out in public! I think Mr. Krampus is still in town ya know. He’s prob’ly lookin’ fer you! 😉
Okay… so’s, Bertie explained it to me.
I’m done havin’ my tantrum ‘cos everythin’ makes so much more sense now.
I still don’t like it but I’m willin’ ta go fer the roller coaster ride.
The weirdness goin’ on is some kinda Alternate Reality an’ whatever we’re bound to be shown is just a trick ‘o mirrors an’ smoke. Illusions like dear Flauren said in the last eppysode.
I’m just gonna say it here, right now; the whole of eppysode 7 was so frackin’ amazin’ cos my Grandbaby is just that now in’t she? Even if she’s pretendin’ ta be someone she’s not, she’s just… what’s that word? It’s a good word an’ I always forgit it when I want ta use it. She’s….she’s….
Yep. That’s it. Ever’one wants ta watch her.
So’s Im’a goin’ ta apologize for bein’ so petulant ’bout last weeks eppysode ‘cos attention went elsewhere when it shoulda stayed on that amazin’ child. Now, I ain’t sayin’ my concerns was trivial, ‘cos they wern’t, an’ still arn’t. People shouldn’t play with matches if they don’t know the damage a fire kin cause. Fires burn. People should educate themselves b’fore tromping ’round in a playground they know nothin’ ’bout; unless they spent some time there themselves.
When did this show stop bein’ ’bout a Lady Hero? It’s all one sided now, an’ caters to the little Wolf boy, and the boys who is watchin’.
Fine if it’s two hot ladies. Fine if it’s Lil’ Kenz an’ boy Hale. Or Bo an’ the Wolf boy. It’s most definitely fine if we get a fella in the middle o’ two hot ladies. We ain’t never gonna see no Bryson happenin’ on this show. Ya know who I’ma talkin’ ’bout don’tcha? Big burly Bruce makin’ sweet passionate love ta Mr. Dyson. Who wants ta see that? I do fer sure. I’ma make a double sized bowl o’ popcorn for when that eppysode happens.
What a waste of melted ice cream!
I hafta say my favorite part was when that Vex fella walked in wearin’ Bo’s corset. That boy is wicked, an’ evil as any on the show, but he’s got style an’ personality. Mr. Vex is used well as a speaker fer my Lolo. He stood up fer her once agins’t Lil Kenz’s accusations, an’ he did agin’ with Dyson in this funny little Time Warp Krampus Celebration.
It had ta happen I guess. My Lolo an’ the Wolf boy buryin’ their hatchets. Mr. Vex inserted the comic absurdity ta allow such a ridiculous thing ta occur. I ain’t gonna complain ’bout it cos they covered all the same borin’ issues. He’s a dick. She’s super smart an’ gorgeous ta boot, but she lies (which ain’t true).
He’ll excuse her humanity (an’ her lies) cos she’s super smart an’ gorgeous. She’ll get used ta the idea that she is now friends with a dick. Problem solved. On ta the next big issue.
Tamsin an’ Bo smoochin’. Din’t y’all just wanna watch that all night long? How sweet. They is just so connected now, I imagine this is gonna be the next Big Love in Bo’s life. Cos we all know how good she is at bein’ considerate an’ kind ta those she “loves.” This new an’ improved Tamsin sorta had me confused. I was enjoyin’ her snark with Mr. Trickster. That seemed like the original 1.0 version we got last year. But then she kept switchin’ back an’ forth b’tween snotty an’ sweet; it was makin’ my head spin. Good ol’ Bo didn’t seem ta notice though. Tamsin offered sincere apologies an’ Bo accepted them in a nanosecond ???
“Sorry, I cast the potion that got you kidnapped and mind raped, and all of your friends mind raped too. I didn’t think you could be real?”
And Bo just says, “it’s fine” so they can git back ta kissin’.
Dark Bo’s a lot nicer than Unaligned Bo ever was. My poor Grandbaby wasn’t even allowed ta s’plain herself, an’ Bo wouldn’t even look at her. Plus, Lolo was a SLAVE when she did her (supposed) Huge Betrayal; not some washed up mercenary lookin’ for an easy buck. Disparity much?
Anythin’ can be explained in an Alternate Reality (so Bertie says).
Tamsin saved Bo from bein’ took from a wall that was kidnappin’ people an’ got herself snatched instead. Chalk up another big sacrifice for the Valkybaby. She took a bullet last year, now she got herself kidnapped. Hmmmm??? Are they makin’ her a player in the never endin’ quest for Bo’s Box? Bo’s Box is becomin’ more like Pandora’s Pantry. Lotsa spite an’ bickerin’ goin on with nary a glimpse o’ hope in the future.
I’m hopin’ since Tamsin is makin’ amends for all she done that she pays a visit ta my Lolo as well. It was her snotty visit ta my Lauren last year that caused my baby ta finally leave those turds behind. So’s, I hope this new an’ improved Valkybaby does the right thing an’ fesses up her sorrow same as she done with Bo. Unless, they keep goin’ like they always do on this Show an’ decide that Lauren ain’t good enough for receivin’ apologies, nor forgiveness. She certainly never gits a thank you.
The Krampus fella was pretty scary in a freaky, pervy, Hannibal Lecter kinda way. Naughty children ever’where would have a permanent trauma if he showed up on Christmas Eve. I may have a permanent trauma just from the oddness o’ that outfit he was wearin’. I guess he was channeling’ a mixture o’ Jimmy Buffett, an’ that Leonard brainiac from Bangin’ the Universe.
Mr. Krampus did git Bo ta drop her tough girl act an’ admit she was frightened. What’s the next step I wonder?
On the side note:
There was all kindsa funny stuff goin’ on with the Time Warp. I did enjoy the party they was havin’. The frog boy sellin’ his sweaty armpits, those two lovers with the rashes, an’ that lady with the long green tassels danglin’ from her boobies was real amusin’ ta watch. Mr. Trick was likable as a drunk, an’ (for the first time) seems like he told Bo the truth up front. “I’m scared.”
Bo’s scared. Trick’s scared. My Grandbaby is up ta schemin’ in The Morrigan’s Den.
Dark Belching Hells Bells!
I’ma scared too!
‘Specially cos that Lady Troll tweeted out that we all is gonna be upset agin’ soon.
This here is Grammy Binks signin’ off…
(p.s. I couldn’t find the artist source for the image of Krampus. I will add that info as soon as I do.)
Name your fears, and they will cease to have power over you.
That was true for Bo in “Groundhog Fae” – it was her ticket out of the Willy Wonka Candy Machine from Regretful Hell, and it’s true for most people. If you can say out loud, either to yourself or another person, what it is that you’re afraid of, then that’s the first step toward defeating that fear. This kind of fear is personal – fear of failure, fear of committing terrible acts, fear of hurting other people through neglect, laziness or even outright cruelty – real dark night of the soul stuff.
At the beginning of Groundhog Fae, we see Bo denying that she’s afraid of anything. Though she doesn’t know it, she was talking to Krampus himself when she first joined the party and he spoke to her about fear. After experiencing a seemingly endless loop of the same night, she finally was driven to confess her fears to Krampus. It was do that or else die and be made into candy. I’ll never look at a gumdrop the same way again, by the way, Lost Girl.
Heavy stuff that serves to advance the plot of Season 4 quite a bit. By admitting her fear, Bo is finally ready to start conquering it – and to start making real progress in finding out about the Death Train, why she’s Dark, and who the Wanderer is.
Also heavy – make that creepy – is the revelation Bo gets from Tamsin at the end of the episode. “[The Wanderer] would have done anything to claim his ideal mate – even if it meant creating her himself.” Gross!
For some time now, we’ve been operating under the assumption that the Wanderer is Bo’s father – I think Tamsin even told Bo as much in Season 3. To find out that your presumed father created you to be his ideal mate has some seriously grotesque implications. And even if it’s all been misdirection and the Wanderer is not actually Bo’s father, it’s still super creepy to think that someone engineered your existence, presumably without consent from your mother, to claim you once you’ve grown up.
It’s all so very troubling that I want to talk about the opening scene for a while instead. Car wash! Ice cream! Suds, wet shirred white tank tops, Bo wielding a hose with a variable-pressure nozzle!
This scene was part of what was maybe one of the most widely watched promos for Lost Girl, at least in my house. And it was talked about up and down and sideways all over the internet. What did it mean? Had Lauren and Dyson forgotten who Bo was, and she was trying to get their attention? Who was going to eat the ice cream?
Well, it turns out that it was probably a daydream of Lauren’s, and then Dyson joined in. Oh, Bo was really washing her car, for sure, but she wasn’t doing it in slow motion or blowing soap suds at anyone. She was just trying to get underfae ogre entrails out of the grille (because they really start to smell after a few days, you know).
Okay, fine. I’ll take it! Especially since we got to see a funny little moment between Lauren and Dyson politely but firmly trying to compete for who got to sit next to Bo in the back seat.
But just one teeny-tiny bone to pick: the ice cream. Nobody ate it! What a waste of presumably delicious soft serve. Add to that, Zoie Palmer apparently said at a convention that it was SOY ice cream, which touched off a fangasm of massive speculation that Bo would probably go on to EAT the ice cream from Lauren’s hand (since Anna Silk is a VEGAN), and well, it’s no wonder that Emily Andras called Zoie Palmer a “SHIT DISTURBER” when she was a guest on Drinks at the Dal – a podcast way station for Lost Girl fans. (You should check it out, both the interview and the podcast in general, if you haven’t yet – both are very good and a pleasure to listen to.)
And then it DIDN’T HAPPEN. Zoie Palmer is a shit disturber two times over because she TROLLED THE FANS so successfully. (Yes, yes, I know it’s possible that the scene was cut – but I don’t think so, since it was a daydream. Well played, Ms. Palmer. We’re going to need you to go guard a bridge for the next week or so.)
But my friends tell me that if you want to be guaranteed a happy ending, that’s what fan fiction is for. So indulge me for a moment:
The napkins that Lauren wiped her fingers with were flimsy and seemed to make the mess even worse.
“Just a minute,” she said to Bo, Dyson and Hale. “I’ll be right back.”
She walked into the gas station, the ice cream cone dripping anew, and paused to take a large bite. Though the ice cream was partially melted, it was cool and sweet. She tossed it regretfully into the empty oil drum that served as a garbage can.
“Where’s the washroom?” she called into the empty room.
“Take a left at the cash register,” replied a voice from inside the auto bay.
Two minutes later, with clean and non-sticky hands, she emerged.
“Thank you!” she said. There was no reply. She walked to the door, passing the cash register and noting the bowl of gumdrops on the counter. She shuddered a bit, her mind instantly cataloging the various bacteria, mold spores, human sputum and insect droppings that an uncovered bowl of candy would certainly acquire over the course of a few hours in such an environment.
Lauren shook her head. Who in their right mind would eat that stuff?
Okay, I feel better now.
Back to the plot. So if the Wanderer is really Bo’s father, and he really created her to be his ideal mate, then I wonder if that relates back to when Lauren was kept prisoner and made to test a blood sample from a Fae elder. Her diagnosis was that the Fae had a form of spongiform encephalitis from feeding on a family member, and she shouted to her unseen jailer that the elder should cut out the incest.
That could either be a red herring, or a real clue. If it’s a real clue, then we have to wonder what was happening on the train. And for those who wonder, it’s pretty creepy. Not that we’re assuming that anything sexual was happening on the Death Train (at least I hope not – I assumed the “feeding on” comment from Lauren was about Fae feeding by using their powers), but it’s a really dark scenario no matter which way I think about it.
Dyson and Lauren and Vex Are Totes Cute
Dyson and Lauren talk about it and then hug it out, with Vex as a hilarious mediator. I kind of like it that they seem to be letting go of some of their animosity for each other.
This was SO SUBTLE that I missed it the first time, but caught it the second time around (time loop pun!). When Lauren first shows Dyson the box that was addressed to Bo c/o the Dark Archives, his first statement is “We can’t give this to her,” and Lauren says “Says you!” Then they go through their pro/con list. Lauren later says “Let’s throw the box in the fire,” and “Well, obviously we can’t give it to her.” As they argue about it, Dyson asks her why she’s disagreeing. She says “Dyson, if I said green, you’d say purple just to get my goat.”
I submit to you that Lauren wanted Bo to have the box, but since Dyson didn’t want her to have it at first, she engaged in some reverse psychology to bring him around to her way of thinking. My theory doesn’t hold up 100%, because if she wanted Bo to have the box, she could have just given it to her from the get-go, though.
And after all that, neither of them gives it to Bo anyway – it’s Kenzi who does. What conclusions can we draw from this?
Hopefully we’ll get to learn more about Bo’s box, what it’s for, and how she’s going to use it. It really is a nice package.
Kenzi and Hale Were Totes Going To Do It
Oh, Hale, you overly cautious non-player. Deliberately signing up for Krampus’ loop so you could work on perfecting your “game” for seducing Kenzi, and then spilling the beans within earshot. Uncool. You’re lucky that Kenzi believes in second chances.
Hopefully everyone else believes in second chances too.
Bo and Tamsin Totes Did It
What would YOU do if you were stuck in a holodeck-like no-consequences time-loop? Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. We see Bo and Tamsin going all hedonistic just like Phil Connors did in Groundhog Day for a while – drinking, armwrestling a sasquatch, and hooking up with each other.
It seems that Tamsin has some feelings for Bo of the romantic love variety that, at least right now, Bo is oblivious to. I felt a little sorry for her, truth be told. Also, did anyone else have a weird moment at the end when Tamsin was getting scolded by Kenzi and she said “Sorry, moms.” ?
In Which I Work Through Some Things
This next bit is about personal stuff, so it might be boring, and I won’t be offended if you skip it.
I started watching Lost Girl for lots of reasons. One of them was: I was watching Rizzoli & Isles one night and said:
“Come ON. Are Jane and Maura ever going to get together?”
My spouse said “They are not.”
“You know, there’s a show that has a real relationship on it. We should watch it. It’s called Lost Girl.“
“What’s it about?”
“A succubus who…”
“What? Come ON.”
But I watched it anyway and the rest is history. The point is, the Doccubus relationship is what drew me to Lost Girl, but I really loved the ENTIRE show once I started watching it. And I’ve always said that while I’m a Doccubus “shipper,” that it’s not to the detriment of the other characters or relationships. (Literally! I said this when I was a guest on the Faetalists Podcast episode about Dr. Lauren Lewis.)
But this season I think I’ve started to get more and more anxious about what the future is going to hold for Bo and Lauren. Amusingly, I think most of my anxiety has stemmed from the death of Pietra – the Doccubus shipper and fangirl. And already, both Bo and Lauren have each been with other people – Dyson, Crystal, Tamsin, randos in the Morrigan’s waiting room, other people…it’s clear that anything goes.
And I realized that this low-level anxiety has started to affect my enjoyment of the show. I wasn’t 100% aware of it until this week, when after witnessing Bo and Tamsin finally doing it, that I had to call Kris of Drinks at the Dal because I needed to process my feelings about it. I was saying:
“What if they don’t have a happy ending, Kris? What then? Do I sound a little nuts? I think I sound a little nuts.”
Kris kindly told me the best white lie ever, which was that I didn’t sound nuts.
So this was on my mind, and then I read this awesome tweet from ImageFeeder:
I am so weary of “shipping” in terms of it being the only prism in which to view story. Will everything be Glee from now on? –@ImageFeeder
And I was like, THAT’S RIGHT. So after some reflection, even though (as it says in the About section of UNALIGNED) I HEART DOCCUBUS 4-EVA, I realized that I have to stop viewing Lost Girl only through a Doccubus lens, and roll with it, and enjoy the entire show for what it is. Because the entire show is awesome!
We have nothing to fear but fear itself, said FDR. I’m going to name my fear, which is that I’m afraid that Bo and Lauren won’t end up together and have a happy ending. There, I said it! Krampus, please let me off this conveyor belt now. Krampus? KRAMPUS!!!
Nobody Puts Doccubus In A Corner
And yet, this blog post wouldn’t be authentic if I didn’t include some of my OMG THEY HAVE AN EPIC TRUE LOVE STORY observations about Lauren and Bo and why it’s all going to be okay. So here they are:
- when Lauren and Dyson are doing their pro/con list, Lauren says three times that she loves Bo. She’s the only one who utters that she loves Bo, in fact.
- Lauren wins the battle with Dyson for who gets to sit next to Bo in the backseat. (Backseat, baby!)
- Lauren’s car wash fantasy. Enough said.
Other Random Awesome Stuff and Questions
- When Bo pays for the gas, she pulls out the money from her bra strap. Just like how she used to keep her phone in her cleavage!
- I love prop comedy, and when Tamsin said “duck!” to Bo, and Bo didn’t duck, and got hit by the beach ball, well, I laugh every time.
- I love it when Bo punches the sweaty dude (Choga?) and knocks him out. It was just like when Phil Connors K.O.’d Ned Ryerson in the original Groundhog Day.
- When Bo surprised Lauren and Dyson in her bedroom and says “You guys scared the chi out of me!” I laughed and laughed when Dyson said “Sorry” and Lauren said “Dyson’s fault” simultaneously.
- Also, Lauren keeping her beer in her pants pocket like a BOSS.
- Vex is awesome. I want to come to Team Vex.
- Drunk Trick is awesome.
- Lauren saying about a brainopsy “That is not a thing. But thank you.”
- When Bo jumps down the car-hood rabbit-hole and lands on the floor, it looks like she fell quite a distance. But she pops right back up! No blood, no foul, no broken legs.
Did Tamsin in the flashback where she first met the Wanderer remind anyone else of Xena, Warrior Princess?
- What did Krampus mean when he said “I’ve never made BLUE candy before”? Was it just a reference to Bo’s succubus eyes, or what?
- The signs in the candy factory. What did they all say? I caught Larceny, Vanity, Remorse, Wrath, Grief, Greed, Cruelty, and Bigotry. The Seven Deadlies, with some extras thrown in there?
- Tamsin tells Bo that Bruce is passed out in her (Bo’s) bed. Then later when Kenzi was listing where everyone went, she said that Dyson was passed out in Bo’s bed next to the box. WHAT CONCLUSIONS CAN WE DRAW FROM THIS, SHIPPERS? Bryson??? Duce?
Here’s a Happy New Year fanvid for you all, featuring Kenzi!
Fun for all was had this week. A lighthearted homage to Groundhog Day, a hysterical movie from the early 90’s starring Bill Murray. It’s a welcome break from all the doom and gloom we’ve been experiencing so far.
The gang’s celebrating Yule, a sacred celebration of contrition and they’re in agreement that Bo needs to have a good time because she’s been stressed out, suffering from PTSD and feeling alone. A Groundhog Day type episode is perfect because honestly that’s how the whole fandom’s feeling at this point.
Groundhog Day. Every Sunday. For 8 weeks!
Every episode I sit down and expect these questions to be answered…
Who’s the Wanderer?
What happened to Bo on the train?
What secrets are Dyson and Trick hiding from Bo?
What does the mutha f***king Prophecy say?
and every week…nada. Nothing. Goose egg.
Every episode I look for clues, write them down, watch everyone’s body language, watch for subtle messages and now, now I’m exhausted and I just want you to spell it out for me damn it and reveal, finally, what the Fae is going on!
Yule is being celebrated during the summer and not during its traditional time between Dec.20-Jan.1st. What does it mean, what does it mean. What the Fae does it mean?!?
Even though Tamsin says only she and Bo are trapped in the time loop, Kenzi seems to be trapped also and is acting strangely. Is this a thing? A clue? Hmmm?
Bo meets Krampus (the anti-Santa) early on at the crack shack and he explains that Yule is the perfect occasion to confront one’s fears.
Bo says ”Fears? Me? Please”.
As the Yule celebration keeps repeating, Bo begins to sees people disappearing into the walls. And when Bo and Tamsin question a suspicious gentleman, he retreats into the wallpaper – taking Tamsin with him.
The disappearing Fae have been taken by Krampus to his candy factory. Krampus uses Fae filled with regret to make his candy.
Bruce and Tamsin seem to be in some kind of trance in Krampus’ candy factory but Bo is unaffected. Is this a thing? A clue? Hmmm?
Bo arrives just in time as Tamsin, on a conveyer belt, is inching her way toward becoming candy. She’s content with the thought that this is her penance for all her transgressions. One of which is helping the Wanderer find Bo. Confessing, she finds Bo willing to forgive, absolving her from her guilt and freeing her from becoming Red Hot Tamales.
Krampus releases Bruce and Tamsin but keeps Bo, claiming she is so full of darkness, guilt and denial that she alone could produce candy for centuries.
“It’s better this way. No more breaking hearts. No more hurting anyone.”
“The truth shall set you free”.
“How can you be pure when you will not confront your fears?”
Bo finally speaks her fears aloud. She afraid of making the wrong choices, of losing her friends and family again. She’s terrified of what she’ll become, of what she’s capable of and of what the Wanderer will make her. Satisfied that Bo has sufficiently confronted her guilt, denial and fears, Krampus sets her free.
In the most entertaining scenes of the season by far, Lauren, Dyson and Vex discussing the triangle and what they’re going to do with a mysterious box that Bo mailed to the Dark Archives while she was being held captive on the Wanderer’s train.
Vex: “Let’s settle the enigma of the most boring threesome once and for all”.
L: “As someone who knows Bo beyond her rack size and underwear line…”. (VEX: “Eww burn”)
D: “As someone who sacrificed his love to save Bo’s life…”
L: “Oh wow God. Really! Boring.” (VEX: “Aye”)
And not to mention incorrect, he was going to give up his wolf. The Norn’s the one who realized his love for Bo was most valuable and took it.
D: …instead of lying to her countless times”.
L: “Wow wow!” (VEX: “Amazing” *eye roll*)
I know honey, I’m with you. I’m as stunned by that accusation today as I was when I heard it the first time…in Season 1!
Yeah, you can’t settle the “who’s the better partner for Bo” with logic. We’ve tried for four seasons now, over and over again.
I’m big enough to admit I’m biased, and childish enough to say I don’t care.
Lauren is who’s best for Bo, but I completely agree that the triangle must die, so…my two cents…Dyson should just move on.
Just a friendly suggestion.
In the end, Lauren and Dyson aren’t the ones to decide if Bo’s given the box. It’s Kenzi that hands it to Bo and tells her it was on her bed with her name on it. Inside is a bottle with what looks like the same black smoke that engulfed Bo at the end of Season 3.
What does it mean? What does it mean? What the Fae does it mean and will it lead to the answer of at least one of these questions….
Who’s the Wanderer?
What happened to Bo on the train?
What secrets are Dyson and Trick hiding from Bo?
What does the mutha f***king Prophecy say?
Well at least I know for sure this mystery isn’t going to last more than 5 episodes.
It isn’t is it?
Unsolicited butch advice for Tamsin: When someone drops money on a table and you’re insulted by how little it is, smack your hand down and toss that weak shit to the floor! Then glare at em like you’re going to slap the shit outta them if they do something that stupid again.
Bad Ass Valkyrie, pfft, I’m not convinced.